Cultivate self-esteem

Moreover, a person who has a good self-esteem has been shown to be more likely to remain motivated and to engage in various meaningful projects and relationships.

What exactly is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves in terms of our physical appearance, the quality of our relationships and our personal achievements. Contrary to popular belief, self-esteem is the self-worth that we attribute to ourselves based on what we value, not on what we do or what we have. Everyone has self-esteem. It varies over time depending on the experiences we have and the people we meet.

The benefit of a high self-esteem

If a person's personal evaluation is positive, we can say that he or she has a good self-esteem. This person will be more likely to be adaptable, open-minded, flexible, and respectful. They are also likely to have a more accurate and reliable assessment of their skills and self-worth. A person with high self-esteem is able to control himself and has greater emotional stability. They are less likely to compare themselves to others, which creates a sense of well-being.

The consequences of low self-esteem

If the person's personal estimation is negative, we say that he or she has low self-esteem. This person will be more likely to be cautious, reluctant, and give up more quickly when faced with a challenge. They may also have greater difficulty making decisions and have a tendency to procrastinate. When faced with a failure, a person with low self-esteem may blame themselves. Fearful of not succeeding again, they may undertake fewer activities. As a result, there will be fewer opportunities to receive praise and encouragement, which will lead to doubts about one's abilities and unwillingness to try new things... And this is how a vicious cycle begins.

Behaviors that undermine healthy self-esteem

Because self-esteem evolves over time as a result of our experiences and the people we meet, we should avoid certain behaviors and even certain people. Judgment and criticism, whether from others or from yourself, can be detrimental to your self-esteem. These attitudes often lead to negative thoughts which are also harmful to a positive self-esteem. The conditional love of others, i.e. being appreciated according to tasks accomplished or successes, can also be detrimental to self-esteem. 

Tips to help build self-esteem

To cultivate self-esteem, face your fears and try new experiences. By developing your autonomy and your sense of belonging, you help cultivate your self-esteem. Adopting self-care attitudes and practices is also recommended. For example, welcoming and accepting oneself fully, listening to one's desires and needs, and expressing one's limits and making sure they are respected all help to strengthen one's self-esteem.

How to recognize good self-esteem?

Several behaviors and skills are associated with good self-esteem. A person with good self-esteem will be able to:

• Remain calm in the face of physical or interpersonal discomfort
• React positively to new things
• Be optimistic about the future and look forward to enjoyment
• Recognize one's abilities and limits (physical, intellectual, relational)
• Express one's tastes, ideas, feelings, and needs
• Assume responsibilities and enforce limits
• Be sensitive and generous towards others
• Share, help, and seek connections with others
• Persevere despite difficulties and accepting delays
• Take initiative and calculated risks
• Remember past successes and feeling pride
• Apply problem-solving strategies
• Demonstrate a desire to learn (intellectual curiosity) and creativity

Self-esteem can be weakened at any time. This is why it is so important to choose relationships that are positive and constructive. As the saying goes, "Rome wasn't built in a day," and this is just as true for self-esteem!

References (in French)

Université de Montréal, Estime de soi
Recherche en soins infirmiers, L'estime de soi
Université Laval, L'estime de soi
OSER changer, Estime de soi: mes 5 stratégies pour la développer