Does your teen’s going out worry you?

These youthful habits define the teenage years for most families. If you're worried about your teenager hanging out at the park, playing video games all day or being invited to parties, this article is for you.

The teenager's need for freedom

As teens, it's normal for them to gradually detach from their parents. Friends and other activities take up more and more space. They need to get to know themselves outside the family unit. This will allow them to define their tastes and interests and develop the skills necessary for responsible adult life. Differentiation from family members is healthy and essential to personality development and self-esteem.

Parental Concerns

For some parents, this passage is often synonymous with worries: Can I leave them home alone? Who did my child go out with? Should I let them take public transportation? What time is curfew? Should I allow them to sleep over at their friends' houses? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions. Every family has its own values. Just remember that becoming an independent, self-reliant person requires the ability to experience new things and be given new responsibilities. The role of parents here is extremely important.

Focus on communication

Communication is the best way to find out about your child's lifestyle. Be careful not to bombard them with questions. Remember when you were that age and the adults around you were scrutinizing your every move? Take an interest in their friends and activities. Use humour and allow yourself to think back to what your teenage years were like. It's also okay to tell a few stories from your own adolescence. Your teen will see you in a different light and this will deepen your relationship with them.

Reviewing family rules

It's necessary to adapt the household rules to your child's age. This means that some of the rules that used to apply can be adapted based on your teen's maturity level. Establishing these rules in agreement with your teenager will make it easier for them to cooperate.

Trust within a framework

Now is the time to give more permission and trust while still respecting your value system. Your teen will certainly need to earn your trust, but it is through trusting them that they can prove to you that you can trust them back. Determine what is non-negotiable such as family times (meals, family visits or activities, family vacations, etc.) and write down important events in a shared calendar so they don't forget.

Giving your child responsibility

Children of a certain age should already be doing certain tasks around the house. As independence develops, greater responsibilities can now be given to him (preparing his own meals, doing his own laundry, calling to make an appointment, etc.). Have an agreement in place, for example, on how many chores need to be done to qualify for Friday night out. And why not encourage your teen to get a little summer job like painting the fence at their uncle's house, babysitting the neighbor's kids, or mowing the lawn in the neighbourhood?

Enroll your teen in sports and recreational activities

Sports teams, dance groups, art activities or youth associations of any kind are a great way to keep your teen busy during the summer. This has been proven to be a great protective factor against crime and substance abuse. It also promotes the development of social skills and creates a sense of belonging among youth. Simply be careful not to impose the activity.

Set an example by giving yourself permission to make mistakes

It is normal to have concerns when you are a parent of teenagers. It's all about adjusting and sometimes this can take time.

 Good luck!