Peer Pressure: A positive or negative?

Alas, this is quite typical of teenagers. They believe that their parents never went through adolescence. In many cases, they prefer to believe and follow what their friends tell them. And at times, the decisions they make can turn out badly. Even though their parents had told them that this friend didn't seem like a good influence, they just decided to go along with it...

Unfortunate consequences

In working with young people in trouble with the law, I have seen that impulsive decisions made in adolescence do not always lead to good things. After numerous discussions with many different youth, the conclusion is always the same: if they had known that the crime they were about to commit would lead to all these consequences and the long legal process that follows, they would not have done it. So why did they do it? Was it because no one had told them before about the consequences that would follow if they committed crimes such as theft, mischief, threats, assault, etc.?

Peer pressure

As you can imagine, a teenager's behaviour is not only influenced by their own thoughts. Peer pressure is always present. But it is not all negative. The aim of this article is not to scare parents into not wanting their children to see their friends. On the contrary! The goal is simply to remind you that teenagers will want to distance themselves a little from their parents and that their friends will take on more importance in their lives.

How can peer pressure be harmful?

Studies examining the impact of peer pressure have focused on a number of issues: substance use (drugs, cigarettes, alcohol), academic difficulties, and loss of self-esteem.

Substance Use

Substance use... It would be tempting to imagine a world where this issue would be easy for parents to deal with. A world where we wouldn't have to worry about a developing brain being disrupted by various substances, like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, etc. A world where studies do not show the negative effects these substances can have on young people. If only this were true! But even knowing the potential impacts of substance use on teens, we need to explore the link to peer pressure. Do their friends encourage them to use? Does using influence their relationships? It would seem a mix of both. Young people will use to be like others and to try new experiences. They will also create groups of friends around common interests, in this case: using. Talking about cannabis and other drugs with your child is one way to reduce the risk of future drug use problems!

School difficulties

What about school? In Quebec, young people are required to be in school until at least their 16th birthday. So how does peer pressure affect the school environment? In fact, it seems that the more "extreme" relationships (the popular, the outcasts, etc.) lead to academic difficulties. To simplify matters, we could simply say that these peer groups' values and interests are frequently at odds with the values that promote academic success. Again, we don't need to exaggerate these results. High-achieving students also have a peer group. This group is usually better balanced and in this way, it is possible for teens to have positive influences on academic progress. They just need to find the right balance.

Self-esteem

Self-esteem... Such a complex and fragile concept, especially at the young age when we are constantly trying to find our identity, i.e. adolescence. Although popularity is one of the causes of academic difficulties and is often linked to substance abuse, it is also an excellent source of self-confidence for young people. Peer acceptance helps them develop a stronger sense of self-worth.

That's all very nice, but what can we do as parents?

The answer is not straightforward. If there was a simple recipe, I would be delighted to share it. But I can give you my own little recipe to try, based on research and experience:

• 1 cup of listening
• 1 cup of openness
• 3 cups of trust
• ½ cup of clear rules
• ½ cup of well-defined limits

Finally, mix it up from ages 12 to 18 and hopefully you'll have a responsible young adult who surrounds themselves well, and with positive peer pressure.

References (in French)

ScienceDirect, Relations sociales entre pairs à l’adolescence et risque de désinvestissement scolaire
Semantic scholar, La psychologie de l’adolescence
ScienceDirect, Facteurs de risques des conduites de consommation de substances psycho-actives à l’adolescence