Tips and tricks to counter performance anxiety
February 15, 2021 School, Employment and Volunteering
Parents
In the article on performance anxiety in adolescents, we explained what performance anxiety is. It is always helpful for parents to have access to concrete tips to help their children.
However, please keep in mind that every child is different. The tips offered can be adapted according to your child and their personal needs. The tips listed below can be easily implemented. You do not need a diagnosis to use them. Simply choose the ones that you think are right for you.
Should you suspect that your child is suffering from performance anxiety, it is recommended that you consult a health care professional. You can also talk to your teen's teachers. Having a diagnosis (although not required) will make it easier for you to help your child.
It is recommended to consult a health care professional if your child's performance anxiety is leaving them with little or no motivation.
Decrease the level of difficulty
Give tasks below the level they can complete. This way, they will have some successes and their confidence levels will increase. Then, gradually build up the complexity towards a mild challenge. Make sure the level of difficulty is appropriate for their abilities. This will help your child feel confident that they are capable of succeeding. Be understanding of your child's needs. Focus on the effort rather than the outcome.For example, name it:
- that you know it's not easy
- that you think it's good to try
Your child may need to be reminded of this. They may think that you will be disappointed in them if they fail. Getting a grade lower than they expected may also require your moral support. Avoid putting pressure by comparing them to others or to themselves. This will only fuel anxiety and will not be helpful. For example:
- "You were able to do it last week."
- "Yet your brother is in second grade and is able to retain the information."
Worries about an upcoming change
If they are worried about an upcoming change, take the time to explain what will happen. Having this knowledge ahead of time will prevent him from making up scenarios. For example, you can:
- Explain how an exam works
- Take them on a tour of their new high school
- Look at all the possible ways a situation could go wrong. Then, look at the real probabilities of it happening. This process may help to de-dramatize their thinking.
Young person with a developmental language disorder
For a young person with a developmental language disorder, it may be easier to make the situation more concrete. For example, making a scene real can help them manage their anxiety. Why not make it look like they are in class so they can practice taking the test?
- Don't avoid situations that scare your child. The more your child avoids them, the more frightening they will become. Instead, they should learn to deal with them gently and gradually.
- Do relaxation and breathing exercises
- At school, put in place an intervention plan to reduce the demands made on the child. Make sure to set objectives that are within their abilities.
Avoid dramatizing the situation, but also avoid minimizing it. What your child is feeling is real. You need to show that you take it seriously. Do not trivialize their emotions.
References (in French)
Allofprof parents, Qu’est-ce que l’anxiété de performance?
Association Dysphasie +, L’élève ayant un trouble développemental du langage (dysphasie) [document inédit]
Naitre et grandir, L’anxiété chez l’enfant
