3 Ways to Counter Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying also takes many forms. It can include name-calling, insults, rumours or even threats. Parents understandably feel helpless in the face of cyberbullying.

Whether it's sending e-mails that contain nasty messages or making fun of someone's weight in a video posted online, it's important to have a serious discussion with your child about these issues.

How to address the topic with your child?

The first step is to reflect on yourself. In fact, when it comes to cyberbullying, we may inadvertently stigmatize young people. However, it is important to remember that society and the environment around youth also play a role in their perceptions and behaviours. With this in mind, you can discuss with your teen some of the best behaviours to adopt in everyday life and on social networks.

3 ways to counter cyberbullying

1- Kindness

Many scientific studies have shown that punishment is not the best way to develop a person's skills. Instead, a positive approach should be used to counter any type of aggression. This refers to the concept of benevolence.

Benevolence begins with oneself. That means that we must take care of ourselves in order to be able to take care of others. It is also a way to stimulate a person's autonomy. This way of thinking and doing and being with others can then be manifested online. Real life behaviors are, after all, often reflected on social networks.

2- Meaningful social relationships

Since the start of the pandemic, we have seen the anxiety and isolation caused by reduced social interactions. These negative effects have direct impacts on the feeling of well-being. We discovered how important meaningful social relationships are in our daily life. Having quality social relationships also helps to ensure positive behaviour on social networks.

Because humans are always looking to be and to feel liked, one place to start is with strategies to improve our relationships with others. We can, for example, start thinking more positively and model this for our teen, because they are more likely to do what we do rather than what we tell them to do. They repeat what adults do, so it is important to focus on caring and to be more self-aware.

3- Emotional management and empathy

A healthy lifestyle begins with emotional regulation. Teenagers are very present on social media because they want to stay connected with their peers. This is the perfect opportunity to build on the positive interactions.

Empathy is also an important human attribute to consider. It is an innate ability that enables us to show affection towards another person, but also to make others conscious of their actions.

Often, on social media, we are in the habit of reacting quickly on an emotional level and making mistakes in the process. So, here are some strategies for self-regulating emotions:

• Laughing
• Singing
• Listening to music
• Doing a crossword puzzle
• Massaging fingertips and toes
• Reading a book
• Moderate physical activity
• Meditation

Alternatively, you can try to cultivate optimism and positive thinking by:

• Changing the things you can change
• Approaching difficulties as challenges
• Remembering that if you are discouraged, it will pass
• Enjoying the good times and pleasures of life

3 questions to ask yourself

There is no magic bullet for dealing with cyberbullying. However, you can begin the journey towards change by helping your teen develop the reflex of asking themselves 3 questions:

1. How do I feel?
2. Why do I feel this way?
3.  What do I need?

These questions give young people the opportunity to develop their self-esteem. This will improve the quality of their interactions and therefore of their relationships. They also help develop their introspection and emotional management skills. What works for one young person will not necessarily work for another. They need to find their own tricks. It is also important to remember that we are all human and that we can sometimes behave inappropriately. The key over time is to develop healthy virtual and personal relationships and keep in mind that we are not defined by our actions.

References (in French)

Gouvernement du Québec, Famille et soutien aux personnes : Cyberintimidation
Ministère de la famille, Qu’est-ce que l’intimidation? Cyberintimidation
Roy, Jasmin. (2021). Éloge de la bienveillance : Cultivez de saines habitudes de vie émotionnelles et relationnelles [Conférence].